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Beware, all ye natural-food-eatin' types with your fatty-acid-rich hempseed oil supplements and your hemp sandwiches and your hemp-inclusive "beer, cheese, coffee, corn chips, energy drink, flour, ice cream, snack bars, salad oil, soda and veggie burgers": You have until Feb. 6 to dispose of these mind-altering items or risk prosecution as the filthy hippie potheads you so clearly are.

Now is the time for Mr. Jimmie to run full-speed ahead with his proposed development of Shemp, the soy-based hemp alternative for the hemp intolerant.

Replies: 6 Confessions

Hey, if the guvmint didn't do something, there'd be a whole slew of teenagers running out to buy bags and bags of corn chips, and eating mass quantities of junk food in order to get high! Lord knows that that's the only way teenagers would ever be able to get hemp in the first place...

jima @ 01/02/2002 07:42 PM CST


I'll garaun-goddamn-tee you that there are more people out there getting high on glue than there are who are getting high on natural fucking corn chips. I hate reading stuff like this. It gets me so riled and so cynical. Amy: Please, go find some happy, Beatle-esque news for me!

Charlie @ 01/03/2002 11:44 AM CST


I think that the next step in this line of "reasoning" is just going to have to be to ban the possession of adhesives. And paint. If we're banning paint, we could really just cut to the chase and ban color, altogether...

Charlie @ 01/03/2002 11:47 AM CST


Let's just ban Fun altogether. Or else the terrorists will have already won!

jima @ 01/03/2002 11:54 AM CST


How about I just make like a barnacle or a zebra mussel and start talking about my "thoughts" via this comment function. Is that illegal in these parts? Well, this weekend, we're going to prime and paint the "pet door" so Roxy will finally have a means to take a shit in the basement - in her catbox of course. Yeah, those are the *plans* for the weekend. So, you don't mind if I just hangout here like an old lamp shade, posting willy nilly, eh?

Skirty @ 01/04/2002 02:57 PM CST


I think somebody's been eating those corn chips...

amyc @ 01/04/2002 03:09 PM CST


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