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Until May 18, my life is a list, and all I do is check off boxes. Even though we're doing without much of the bullshit that the Bridal Industrial Complex tells us is mandatory for a happy union (showers, attendants, tux rentals, dyed-to-match anything, gilded cake knives, "toasting flutes," favors, a DJ, poofy dresses, bouquets, garters, etc.), there's still quite a bit of logistical work that goes into hosting a dinner party for 60 people from all over the country (and Australia).
But the more boxes I check off, the fewer nightmares I have. Yesterday, we accomplished three major tasks:
• We selected and ordered our rings. Plain white-gold bands. We went back and forth on the whole ring thing, but we both like the cultural shorthand of it -- a little loop around our fingers that says, "Hey, y'all, I have committed my life to someone I love." We haven't decided whether we're going to use them in the ceremony yet. I don't think Jim has any strong feelings one way or the other about it, but the ritual of putting rings on each other makes my feminist self writhe in discomfort. Maybe if we use the occasion to put the rings on ourselves instead. I don't know.
• We met with our lovely chanteuse friend who will be performing a song (possibly this, with a little lyrical tweaking, or this) during the ceremony.
• We sampled some vegetarian meal selections from the reception place. Unfortunately, there were mushrooms. Mushrooms are not to be eaten. So I have to go back in a couple weeks to try a mushroom-free entree -- that ol' standby, vegetable lasagne. The other food was quite good though. Asparagus can be tricky to get right, and theirs was crisp and green and not at all bitter. But perhaps we shouldn't make all our guests have funny-smelling pee for the rest of the evening.
When we were discussing details of the reception with the director of the club, I mentioned off-handedly that we needed plenty of dancing space and if people didn't dance, I would punch them. "That's lovely," she smiled. "It's always nice to have a violent bride." I would so very much like for this to be my new nickname, or perhaps a comic superhero inspired by me: Violent Bride! Kicking ass and serving hors d'oeuvres! With a tiara that shoots idiot-paralyzing lasers or something.
But all work and no play makes Violent Bride...uh...even violenter! So we went to Barbara's to kill some time. I picked up The Diagnosis, Motherless Brooklyn and Team Rodent. Also a new Nava Atlas cookbook: The Vegetarian 5-Ingredient Gourmet. I have her soup cookbook, and it's wonderful. We need to eat better than Boca several times a week. But who has time to cook? Not us, not with all this box-checking we have to do.
Speaking of checking boxes...
Replies: 5 Confessions
First gonads and strife .... and now myvag.net. I detect a theme here.
jima @ 03/25/2002 08:23 AM CST
Also, it looks like VIOLENTBRIDE.NET is still available. I'm just saying.
jima @ 03/25/2002 08:26 AM CST
And even more also: I put a down payment this morning on the "toasting cuffs", so you can strike that off the list. Next to get: the white gold cake cozy with the engraved base. ("Jim & Amy: Hubba hubba! May 18, 2002.")
jima @ 03/25/2002 08:53 AM CST
Dan @ 03/25/2002 09:03 AM CST
I LIKE the idea of violent bride comix. They would strike a chord and the course of justice could finally run true. I am laughing at that bridal list of crap you got from DuPage? laundry detergent and AOL. Clearly they are all in league with the DEVIL.
FabAnnie @ 06/03/2002 03:47 PM CST