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Salon has an amusing article today on deal breakers, those seemingly petty yet personally insurmountable turnoffs that doom a romance from the start.

I once did the Um-sorry-I'm-just-not-ready-for-a-relationship-right-now dance with someone who proclaimed just minutes into our first date, "You know, I don't see what the big deal is about the Beatles."

And you?

Replies: 19 Confessions

So you were, in fact, holding out for someone who would be willing to memorize all the dialog from 'Hard Day's Night?' I'd say you lucked out there, sister.

Phineas @ 08/07/2002 10:16 AM CST


on a 2nd date the guy said "I couldn't date a fat chick. I could be friends with one, but nothing more.".

another, better suited for your question, guy said on a 1st date he didn't like country music when Johnny Cash was playing on the jukebox. How can one not like Johnny Cash? Johnny Cash isn't country music. Johnny Cash is the granddaddy of American Goth.

another dealbreaker: being taken to see Bad Lieutenant on a first date.

no wonder I am such a freak when dating.

shechemist @ 08/07/2002 10:27 AM CST


Bad Lieutenant? Yeesh.

I may have broken somebody's deal on a first date when I suggested we watch "this cool, arty movie my friend Dave said was good" without having seen it first myself. The film: In the Realm of the Senses.

There's really nothing quite like violent Japanese porn to make someone lose your phone number.

amyc @ 08/07/2002 12:52 PM CST


So elaborate. What about the guy - everyone has met one of these - who smokes and then wants to stick his tongue in your mouth. Or do you rule out those before you watch, alternatively, Bad Lieutenant or In the Realm of the Senses?
PS If you had somehow had this experience with Peter while he was still single, he would have become your instant love slave. Isn't life funny?

elavil @ 08/07/2002 02:24 PM CST


Ew, smoker.

There was the girl in college who had such in-demand qualities as being sweet, smart, laughed at my jokes, and was pretty horny, to boot. The deal breaker? Ichthyosis. A skin disease that leaves your skin feeling like, you guessed it, a fish. I tried, but I just couldn't stand to touch her. Ick.

Charlie @ 08/07/2002 04:57 PM CST


Whoa. Anyone I know?

amyc @ 08/08/2002 08:42 AM CST


smokers don't bother me. japanese porn does. go figure.

shechemist @ 08/08/2002 01:42 PM CST


I don't think so. I even forget what the rest of her name was, after Kristen... Something. It was freshman year, I never saw much of her after that. Go figure, right?

I don't think I've ever investigated Japanese porn. I'll have to add that to my list of Things To Do.

What about Tevas? What do you think about a guy in Tevas? Birkenstocks?

Charlie @ 08/08/2002 06:21 PM CST


I can deal with Tevas. Even Birks. Even Birks and sox (I lived 2 years in Portland, OR). What I canNOT deal with are guys who use "bloody" as an all-purpose adjective. I'm not very wild about bad spelling, either, despite being married to a man who can't spell "furnace."

elavil @ 08/08/2002 07:53 PM CST


Tevas are dealbreakers. So are crow make-up, and wearing leather or PVC clothing with tevas/gym shoes/brown hiking boots.*shutter*

another *HUGE* dealbreaker: telling me I don't look like a chemist. like I can't have a brain and wear fuck pants.

shechemist @ 08/09/2002 12:10 PM CST


Hey. I wear tevas *and* I often use the word "bloody" in adjectival deployment.

Guess I'm not getting any action around here....

Phineas @ 08/09/2002 03:53 PM CST


What? You just noticed?

elavil @ 08/09/2002 04:47 PM CST


Seriously, what does that mean for me? Hrm???

Shylo! @ 08/09/2002 11:39 PM CST


Maybe I'm missing yr point, but I think it means that Tevas and British expletives are not dealbreakers for you.
And you were thinking . . . what?

elavil @ 08/10/2002 06:59 AM CST


Some readers of the Salon article wrote in with their own dealbreakers, most of which are, if not sensible, at least not insane. Except the first guy on this page. Some of his theories sound OK, but apparently anyone who doesn't dress exactly as everyone else does has mental problems. Quoth he: A person who has a "different" type of hair style, an odd watch, or whatever is announcing to the world, "I feel different, I feel odd, I'm not comfortable with myself, I'm a weirdo."

Also: Adults generally like mustard on a hot dog, but kids and immature adults like catsup.

amyc @ 08/10/2002 08:24 AM CST


Let's see . . . is he a high school guidance counselor? A law enforcement professional in DuPage County? An ambulatory care physician?
I'm thinking there's a reason the cats leave the room when he comes in.

An Immature Adult with an Odd Watch @ 08/10/2002 09:51 AM CST


Now I am obsessing about the sociocultural implications of this thread (Amy, this is all your fault). Greg Moore and George Bush have this in common: Neither can distinguish between his own personal bete noir (catsup on hotdogs, Saddam Hussein) and natural law. As a consequence, both feel empowered to inflict their bizarre little idiosycrasies on autonomous citizens. I mean, hey, I hate it when people ask me about my name (I have a weird name), but I'm not rounding up people who do it and interning them on Guantanamo. Or at least not yet.

elavil @ 08/10/2002 10:57 AM CST


like being a weirdo means you are not comfortable with yourself. as frigging if.

note to self, never ask elavil about name.

shechemist @ 08/10/2002 03:14 PM CST


What are fuck pants?

Charlie @ 08/19/2002 01:23 PM CST


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