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If you have a dog, even if your dog is very sweet and well-behaved and you swear s/he "never leaves the yard," make sure that dog wears a collar and tag at all times. And make sure the tag lists the dog's name, your phone number and your address so that when little Precious sneaks out through an unlocked gate at 5:30 am or something, the kind person who finds your dog just a block away from your house can bring it right back to you instead of, say, having to find a spare leash, tie the dog to the porch, take care of her own dog, try to stop your little scared dog from barking her head off in that shrill terrier way while all the neighbors are sleeping, then find an awake neighbor who will let the dog stay in her garage while the kind person who found your dog goes home and calls around and waits for the vet or the pound or animal control to open instead of getting ready for work (as the kind person who found your dog usually does at that time of day). And when the kind person who found your dog leaves messages on your voice mail saying she found your dog, call her back! Do not wait for the kind person who found your dog to try calling you "just one last time" before giving up and calling Animal Control, because, really, who knows what will happen to your adorable, floppy-eared little muffin at Animal Control? The kind person who found your dog certainly doesn't want it to come to that. And when the kind person who found your dog brings your dog back to you, don't just mutter "thanks" and wander back into the house, even if you are a sullen teen in the unmerciful grip of puberty. Say "thank you" like you mean it, and then make sure this doesn't happen again. OK? Good boy.

Replies: 5 Confessions

Poor Precious!

jima @ 09/25/2002 10:20 AM CST


Charlie @ 09/26/2002 11:42 AM CST

Alrighty, then!

amyc @ 09/26/2002 06:42 PM CST

Letís not also forget to carry a tazer gun at all times whilst walking your leashed dog. Because when another dog, off its leash, approaches your dog, and you have made repeated requests for the owner to call back the unleashed dog, and your dog freaks out and goes AWOL, you can take said tazer gun and repeatedly zap the careless owner.

jhames @ 09/27/2002 03:10 PM CST

I like your brand of vigilante justice, jhames!

amyc @ 09/28/2002 10:41 AM CST

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