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Waiting for the 77 bus with me this afternoon was one of Chicago's many free-range crazy people. "You're born to lose!" he yelled to all passerby as twin rivers of snot slid into his beard. "Miss! You're born to lose, miss! You're born to lose on this street. This is the sin capital of the world. Hey! You and your dog! You're born to lose! Better get home to mom. You're born to lose, sir. You're selling dope! You're born to lose on this street." And so on.

A woman taped a flyer to the light pole, and as soon as she turned away, Crazy Man ripped it down. "You're breaking the law, miss! Post no bills!" She was, of course, pronounced "born to lose," but did not seem to mind. Unlike the two teenagers waiting for the bus with us, who threatened him repeatedly with various manner of beat-down until they finally just gave up and ignored him. When the bus at last arrived, Crazy Man deemed the bus driver "born to lose on this street," primarily because of "all the gays," but she let him on anyway. I sat as far from him as I could, but not so far that I couldn't still watch him. He continued to pass his unusual judgment on the passengers, earning both guffaws and beat-down threats for his trouble. When I passed him on my way out, he said, "You take care now, sweetheart."

Replies: 4 Confessions

Ten bucks says “You’re born to lose!” becomes the catch-phrase of the year.

jhames @ 10/06/2002 05:58 PM CST

I'm already getting the t-shirts printed up!

amyc @ 10/06/2002 06:19 PM CST

I wear a size Large, sweetie.

jhame @ 10/07/2002 05:43 PM CST

I remember that guy. He was on the red line when I was 19 going home from a party alone. He was letting me know that I "need to go see a priest!!!"

amy beth @ 10/09/2002 04:12 PM CST

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