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Re: my xmas music rant -- Hey, if xmas music stuffs your stockings, don't let me tell you you can't enjoy it! I'm just a lonely, Grinchy voice in the wilderness. I'm nobody.
But I am completely right about xmas music being shitty. Although based on scientific research (of my comments pages and e-mails), I am willing to admit that the following holiday songs in small doses may not in fact be utter crap:
• "Christmas Wrapping," by the Waitresses
• portions of the Vince Guaraldi "Charlie Brown Christmas" soundtrack
• A wee handful of classical songs (ask Elavil which ones) and some jazz interpretations of same (ask Jessica)
• Ren & Stimpy's "Crock Full O' Christmas"
• John Lennon & Yoko Ono's "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" -- however, every existing copy of Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" is to be immediately gathered up, sealed in a biohazard container and shot directly into the sun.
Replies: 9 Confessions
The Band (remember The Band? probably not) had a sweet little Christmas song, too, but I know I would get sick of it in fifteen minutes if they played it in the malls. I recommend that every individual responsible for broadcasting Christmas music be required to give equal time to Randy Newman. A few doses of "God's Song (That's Why I Love Mankind)" and "I Just Want You to Hurt Like I Do" would sort them right out.
elavil @ 12/12/2002 08:05 AM CST
The Macca song was playing at the gym today. And I thought how easy it would be to make a shitload of money, simply by recording a dorky shmaltzy Christmas song. you know it'll get airplay every December, when radio stations are desperately trying to find crap with which to flood the airwaves.
So my next song is going to be called "Dear Mister Jesus, Please Send Me An Angel For Christmas (So My Daddy Doesn't Kick The Shit Out Of Me Anymore)".
jima @ 12/12/2002 09:43 AM CST
jhames @ 12/12/2002 09:50 AM CST
On the porch.
elavil @ 12/12/2002 10:49 AM CST
Don't be a lonely grinch! No one loathes Christmas music like my Sweetie. I swear I'm going to put it in her epitaph: "Beloved Mother, Devoted Wife, Unabashed Loather of Xmas Music"
Charlie @ 12/12/2002 10:55 AM CST
Hooray! Leslie and I can start our own nation, one completely devoid of singing snowmen and jingling bells and little drummer boys!
amyc @ 12/12/2002 11:13 AM CST
"I'm just a lonely, Grinchy voice in the wilderness. I'm nobody."
(Jesse Jackson voice)Repeat after me:
"I am a somebody.
Good. Because if you weren't, we wouldn't take time every morning to read your blog.
tbogg @ 12/12/2002 12:41 PM CST
Let's not forget the Kink's
tbogg @ 12/12/2002 12:42 PM CST
And most of the soundtrack of The Nightmare Before Christmas!
Jessica @ 12/13/2002 01:16 AM CST