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Sniffles, headache, sore throat, lethargy and a shitload of work on my desk. Today is gonna suck.

Tell me a joke!

Replies: 15 Confessions

What's brown and sounds like a bell?


(No, that one never gets old.)

Phineas @ 12/17/2002 10:35 AM CST

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot.

(The delivery is critical with this one! It's my one clean joke.)

Charlie @ 12/17/2002 10:43 AM CST

No need for cleanliness here, Charlie. I'm so far from godliness, it's not even funny.

amyc @ 12/17/2002 11:06 AM CST

Actually, it *is* pretty funny. Ha ha ha!

jima @ 12/17/2002 11:34 AM CST

Whatís the difference between Dubya and a cabbage?

I donít know, either.

jhames @ 12/17/2002 12:32 PM CST

This is my favorite joke in the world. Nick told it to us when he was about six. I'm thinking he made it up but maybe not.

Q: What time is it when a lady screams in a room?
A: Time to get the comedians!

No, really, it is funny. Really!

elavil @ 12/17/2002 01:21 PM CST

not a joke, but amusing to read. work friendly.

shechemist @ 12/17/2002 02:00 PM CST

One of my favorites:

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. The bartender gives him a skeptical look and says, "what the hell is that for."
The pirate looks at him and says, "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

Tim @ 12/17/2002 03:45 PM CST

So . . . did any of these help?

elavil @ 12/17/2002 08:05 PM CST

So this man walks in to a bar and asks for two drinks...he says "one for me and one for my friend!" and promptly downs one and pours the other over his right hand.

The bartender looks at him a bit strangely but says nothing,he's not the first wierdo who has entered the bar.

when the man is finished with the first round, he requests another, and does the same thing - downs one and pours the other over his right hand.

Again, his actions catch the bartender's eye, but he says nothing, until...

The third round, when the man again requests two drinks and prompty pours one over his right hand. "Why do you keep wasting a perfectly good drink by pouring over your hand? You've done this twice already and I'm sure you'll do it again..."

"The answer is simple, bartender," he man said; "one is for me, and one is for my date!"

booka @ 12/17/2002 11:25 PM CST

Q: why did the monkey fall from the tree?
A: It was dead.

pheadrus @ 12/18/2002 02:31 AM CST

Yes, elavil -- they've all helped tremendously. Keep 'em coming, y'all!

My favorite joke: What's black and white and red and crawls on the ground?

A wounded nun.

amyc @ 12/18/2002 08:28 AM CST

One more, this one coming from Oliver's human:

Have you ever seen boy scouts sleeping?
Itís in tents.

jima @ 12/18/2002 02:46 PM CST

Q: When is it bedtime at the Seminary?

A: When the big hand touches the little hand!

Kendrick @ 12/20/2002 11:44 PM CST


amyc @ 12/21/2002 08:00 AM CST

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