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I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a popular kiddie movie is leading its audience to beg for live versions of cartoon characters, but isn't the whole fucking point of "Finding Nemo" that adorable tropical fish are happier in the sea than in people's aquarium tanks? I mean, we weren't supposed to sympathize with ignorant, bag-shaking Darla and the mean ol' dentist, right? And the movie would not have had the same emotional impact if dad and son had been reunited by dad being captured and thrown in the tank.

So lots of clown fish are being bred to become birthday presents for little Bratleigh and Snotleigh, and they will be cooed at for about three days before the kids realize fish are not terribly cuddly or fun to play with, and they don't talk or sing, and fishtanks are a bitch to maintain, and then the parents will just give up and little Nemo II will probably be fed to the elderly Dalmatian they brought home as a puppy when that other movie was popular, but who spent most of his life alone in the backyard because nobody heeded the warnings about how unpredictable and high-strung real Dalmatians can be.


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