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A US prison guard has been ordered to scrub toilets for 15 days after he urinated onto inmates playing basketball.


A Brazilian who went to a surgery complaining of earache is suing doctors after they performed a vasectomy on him instead.

[snip] [no pun intended]

Mr Moraes said: "I thought my earache had turned into something more serious and had descended to my genitals, that is why I didn't say anything."


Billy Connolly was left bleeding when he got his penis caught in his zip at 30,000 feet.

He's said to have howled in pain after the incident on board a flight from New Zealand.


"I was sitting on the flight and I noticed my flies were undone so obviously I didn't want to give anyone a fright. I started doing up the zipper on my trousers but it was one of those big chunky ones and was proving quite difficult.

"Then the unimaginable happened and I got my privates stuck in my zip. It was absolute agony but, however tempted you may be, you just can't ask the air stewardess for help. That would have been too embarrassing. I felt like Mr Bean as it was.

"So I just took a deep breath and gave the zip a big yank downwards. God, it was really sore. I was bleeding everywhere and my eyes were filling up."

Replies: 3 Confessions


I would have been screaming for a doctor! "Make sure it is okay and please don't let it fall off."

That little guy is getting the best medical attention! And quickly

gttim @ 08/21/2003 12:44 PM CST

I like how Connolly said he felt like Mr. Bean. I'm surprised he didn't say Howard Hesseman. (A "Head of the Class" reference, for those of you who remember that show.)

Also: that picture of Connolly is terrifying. I'm guessing it was taken AFTER the incident.

gttim, I hope that, as an Atlanta native, you're going to see productions at Dad's Garage frequently on a regular basis. That Lucky Yates, he some kind of funny.

jima @ 08/21/2003 01:46 PM CST

re: how Billy Connolly looks.
Nope, he looks like that all the time (he spends a lot of time in Oz. He even does a TV ad for a bank)

the other amy @ 08/21/2003 04:42 PM CST

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