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Wouldn't it be great if Rosie O'Donnell's gay family cruise and the National Review's conservative-dorks-at-sea Bermuda cruise shared the same routes, and some of the people returning from souvenir shopping in the ports boarded the wrong ship in a you-got-peanut-butter-in-my-chocolate-style mishap, and eventually the passenger lists and itineraries got all intermingled, and everybody learned to share and love and really talk to each other, with hugging and dancing and limbo contests and splashing about in the kiddie pool, and Rich Lowry & Jonah Goldberg -- thinking they're going in to a seminar on election rigging -- end up in a session about gay adoption and decide right then and there to just go for it and start a family together, and William Bennett is so deeply moved by the well-adjusted dykes-with-tykes contingent that he's heard to exclaim loudly right there in the middle of the Lido Deck bingo game, "Christ, I've been wrong about everything my whole life!" and they all lived happily ever after?

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