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Was there a full moon? Was it the heat? People were crazy this weekend.

On the bus to the Gapers' Block party Friday night, I sat across from one of the best bus crazies I've seen in a long time. I really wish I had brought my notebook to keep track of what he was saying about romance. (One remembered snippet: "I'm gonna get me a woman and a couple of Toyotas!") On the bus home, a young man wild-eyed under the influence of something or other sat next to me and belted out a cheesy R&B tune of his own composition, then got on the phone and said, "Yeah, she three months and says she keepin' it," then started in on a sinister-sounding rap about his fellow bus riders. That's when I got out.

Saturday night, after the song-poem movie, I was a little freaked out by some of the shady folks hanging out on the Lake St. Red Line platform (including the beligerent busker who'd play a song and then harass people for change), so I went back up to the street and caught a cab, thinking I'd feel safer. I was wrong. First, the cabbie said I looked tired, "like a flower that needs a shower" being his exact words. I smiled politely. Then he offered me some candy he got at a wedding, which I declined. He turned on the radio and asked if I liked the song ("Ball and Biscuit," the White Stripes), and when I said yes, he turned it up really loud and rolled down all the windows, and began clapping along extravagantly yelling "I love this song!" He asked if I was Irish, and said he once loved an Irish woman but they tend to drink a lot of whiskey. By this time, I was sizing up the situation on Clybourn Ave., just in case I needed to jump from the cab and run. He told me he wished he could find a woman like me, kind and smart and good-hearted (all this from a 10-minute ride in which I was mostly silent!).

He patted his face and asked, "What's the word for this?"

"Cheeks?"

"Yes, cheeks! You have lovely cheeks and a beautiful mouth. You are like a wood flower."

"You can just drop me off at this corner. I live right here." I was a couple blocks from home. I pretended to go into one of the condo buildings until I saw him pull away, then walked the rest of the way home.

And then on Sunday at the Marigold, the owner treated us to a bunch of dick jokes when we asked if we could buy some of the pins before the place is torn down at the end of May. After each joke, he'd say to Jim, "I'll explain that one to you later."

Replies: 4 Confessions

And yet, he never DID explain them to me! Now I'll never know what he meant!

jima @ 04/19/2004 08:32 AM CST


Sorry I missed the jokes -- and more sorry I missed the bowling. I had a friend in from out of town, so I was otherwise engaged.

Andrew @ 04/19/2004 10:19 PM CST


Bus and cab stories are fascinating. More, more, your audience pleads. I am not sure if it was a full moon. Perhaps the cosmic neon pointer was aimed at you…

Phadre @ 04/20/2004 01:31 AM CST


Andrew -- we may try to sneak in one more breakfast bowl before the wrecking ball. We'll keep you posted.

amyc @ 04/20/2004 05:45 AM CST


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