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OK, these kinds of movies normally aren't my style, but Anchorman is a laff-riot, and its aggressive foolishness was exactly what I needed today.

Except for one thing (and stop reading here if you're fussy about spoilers).

Mr. Anchorman has a scruffy, adorable terrier named Baxter. The audience is asked to identify with the fuzzy little pooch because he's cute, and he's smarter than the main character. Which is easy enough to do -- hell, who doesn't love cute, smart, fuzzy little dogs? Baxter and Anchorman sleep in the same bed and wear matching pajamas. Anchorman's a dolt, but he loves his dog. Awwww!

In a scene involving road rage and an angry biker, however, we are expected to find it funny that Baxter is kicked off a highway overpass into the river below. We are then supposed to find Anchorman's incoherent grief at this incident even more hilarious. I nearly walked out of the theater. I stayed because I figured (correctly) that the movie wouldn't be cynical enough to leave it like this, that the dog would miraculously survive and return for the heartwarming conclusion. But still. If I had known this movie contained "comic" animal abuse, I wouldn't have gone.

I guess it's supposed to be some kind of taboo-smashing, Farrelly-style funny that injured/maimed/electrocuted/tortured family pets have become recurring punchlines in comedies these days. I guess I'm just not the kind of person who can suspend disbelief in the way that I would find something amusing about kicking a dog or flinging a cat out a window.

(Though throwing an IBM Selectric at a pompous newsreader's head certainly tickles my funny bone. Do I contradict myself? Very well, then. I am large. I contain multitudes.)

Also, Steve Carrell is a genius.

Replies: 7 Confessions

I am with you completely on the whole family pet thing. Maybe they could just stop pussyfooting around (so to speak) and electrocute/drown/smash/maim cute litle children.

elavil @ 07/11/2004 08:05 AM CST

Dammit. First the fucking spammers invade Jesus' General, now they've hit HERE! Might I suggest some anti-personnel mines?

On the other note: I highly agree with Elavil: More destruction of children, definitely. Oh, you meant in the MOVIES... ohhhhhh... well, it's as good a place to start as any. How about we start with all the NASCAR fans who are taking Viagra, and work outward from there? Yes, it's a huge task, but I think the nobility of the goal is that important.

Anntichrist S. Coulter @ 07/11/2004 08:51 PM CST

Ah, what the hell, kill 'em all.

elavil @ 07/12/2004 07:34 AM CST

And let Reagan sort 'em out!!

We'll be working on a solution to the comment spam sometime this week. Hopefully an upgrade to the blog software, coupled with a move over to TextDrive, will improve things around here. Uh huh huh.

jima @ 07/12/2004 08:28 AM CST

Although killing them all would also be an option.

elavil @ 07/12/2004 10:24 AM CST

Yeah, what she said.

Anntichrist S. Coulter @ 07/13/2004 09:30 PM CST

Literary animal abuse goes back at least to General Ivolgin. Flying out of moving vehicles is the preferred MO.

Dick Durata @ 07/17/2004 02:19 PM CST