Back to main menu :: [Prev] cake and geritol [Next]

I'm going to be 35 this week, and it is freaking me right out.

I've never been precious about my age or overly concerned about wrinkles and sagging. But 35 is a bad-magic year if you're a woman. According to all the common-wisdom medical advice that gets drummed into us all our lives, it's the year you should stop taking the Pill, the year your bones start to crumble, the year you should have had kids by or risk nasty complications.

And even though I'm not on the Pill anymore and I never wanted kids, somehow I've still managed to internalize the idea that 35 is the year your body turns against you. The year you start to get old.

And now, in addition to worrying about my health going to hell, I'm plagued with more doubt than usual about mundane shit. Can I still wear black nail polish? Does my new haircut make me look frumpy? Is it too late for Manic Panic? Because I never did that, thinking it would hinder my work life, and now I'm probably past the point where I can sport blue hair around the office without looking like, well, like a woman going through a midlife crisis.

I saw Cynthia Plaster Caster in the crowd at the Neil Innes show a few months back, still trying to work the Sassy Little Mod Minx look (complete with pigtails, a minidress, and bare legs) and it was just tragic. Is that going to be me? "Woo-hoo, dude! I'm still a riot grrrl! This baby-tee will hold up my droopy boobs! Revolution middle-age style now!"

And if all of that weren't bad enough, guess what I'm getting for my 35th birthday: A colonoscopy! Because I might have a polyp! Hooray! That doesn't make me feel old at all!!!

Replies: 8 Confessions

Hey lady, Happy Birthday! Maybe you'll process the experience the way I did. I spent most of my energy freaking out about "35 is officially middle-aged" and all that crap, that I was too exhausted to do anything when I turned 40 except to enjoy the hell out of my birthday. Now I'm 48, and tapping 50 on the shoulder. What can I say? It does beat the alternative, and truly . . . the view out here is sensational.

Have a 35th however you choose to celebrate it!

MaryAnne @ 01/31/2005 07:36 PM CST

Happy Birthday. Its not so bad. When I was younger I thought that people died when they turned 30. Boy was I wrong. We all get older and there is nothing you can do about it, so don't fret it. :)

Squirrels @ 02/01/2005 01:07 AM CST

I'm right there with ya, I"m turning 35 this year and I've started to feel that maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to look a little odd in Chucks and pigtails. Or maybe not...maybe I'm just senile!!!!

the other amy @ 02/01/2005 02:13 AM CST

I'm loving my 40s. Yeah, I wish I had the energy I had when I was 25, but in general, in almost every way, in fact, my life has steadily improved with every passing year.

Don't sweat getting older. It's up to you whether it's a good experience or a shit one.

Reecie @ 02/01/2005 09:09 AM CST

And it's never too late for Manic Panic.

Reecie @ 02/01/2005 09:10 AM CST

I'm with Reecie. I mean you are a university student and all...

the other amy @ 02/01/2005 04:06 PM CST

I hear the Matron Look will be In this year, anyway.

Ric L. @ 02/02/2005 03:53 PM CST

Maybe getting older will teach you not to care what other people think

miranda writes @ 02/05/2005 05:26 PM CST

Add A New Comment

Name (required)

E-Mail (required)

Homepage (optional)

Remember personal info?