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Just seeing the print ad for this movie, I figured out the entire plot. I'll summarize it for you here so you don't have to watch:

Rosie O'Donnell plays the retarded sister, which you can tell because she dresses like a big baby (why must the mentally disabled be infantilized? I'm looking at you too, Sean Penn!) and wears mismatched sneakers (that's how you know she's one of those open-hearted wacky retards, and not the bad kind that will stick a knife in your cat to find out where the meow comes from). Andie MacDowell plays her not-retarded older or possibly younger sister, who is most likely careerist, bitter and either unable to keep a man or in a marriage that's failing because of her careerist, bitter ways. You can tell this because she wears nice clothes and does something with her hair.

Retard Rosie will be preternaturally wise, and her earthy, unpretentious observations about the human condition such as "I like raisins!" will cause Bitter Andie to gaze wistfully into the middle distance and reconsider her own raisinless existence (she used to like raisins! whatever happened to that little raisin-eating girl inside her? I bet she was killed off by that high-powered career! And they just lost that big raisin account! how Bitterly Ironic!)

Then, an Event happens (most likely the death of their sainted mother, who sacrificed her life to take care of her big, mismatched-sneaker-wearing woman-baby but never, NEVER complained because her heart was big and we should all take a lesson from her) and Retard Rosie wants to strike out on her own to prove she's "a big gwown up!" but fails at the basic tasks of maintaining her own apartment (I'm picturing a washing machine overflowing with foam or a baking incident that ends with Retard Rosie covered head to toe in flour). All of these Big Changes begin to turn the heart of Bitter Andie, who Learns to Love Again, patches up her marriage (or finds a nice man who also has a retarded sibling), and invites Retard Rosie to come and live with her in her safe, suburban home. The End. And we all learned an important lesson!

Replies: 9 Confessions

Girl, you *nailed* it. Go look.

ChgoRed @ 04/26/2005 03:19 PM CST

If Hollywood continues to make stupid movies about retarded people, why can't they actually cast retarded people, rather than make some celebrity pretend to be retarded when they obviously aren't? People loved that kid on Life Goes On, man!

Jennifer @ 04/26/2005 03:35 PM CST

I hope I'm right about the raisins, too!

Amy C @ 04/26/2005 03:36 PM CST

I'm starting a band called 'Retard Rosie'.

Phineas @ 04/27/2005 09:43 AM CST

Over at Rosie's official site (, they've posted a big picture at the top of the page showing Rosie going off on a retarded streak. I GUESS that's what's happening; she might just be spazzing out.

jima @ 04/27/2005 03:43 PM CST

We can usually anticipate the Hollywood stuff (Mercedes driver is bad, Volvo driver is good... smoker is wicked and enjoys deviant sex... the lieutenant is black - unless he's bad... Brits are perverts and so on). That's coz they are made for the- ahem- teen brained audience.
You've gotta watch European movies these days. At least there's a few surprises!
P.S. - Good site - thanks!

Lenox @ 04/29/2005 02:27 PM CST

Hey, now, Lenox -- I did not watch this Rosie Retard movie. I just want to be clear about that!

Amy C @ 04/29/2005 03:01 PM CST

Haw haw haw. This page is now the #1 Google search result for "Rosie Retard".

jima @ 05/02/2005 03:23 PM CST

Rosie O'Donnell could not possibly be convincing playing the role of a mentally challenged adult for two reasons:

1) No talent,
2) Evil eyes.

NeoCleo @ 05/02/2005 06:16 PM CST

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