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"Cooter" don't like the new Dukes of Hazzard movie, y'all:

If television's "Crazy Cooter" has his way, fans of the "Dukes of Hazzard" may be speeding away from a new movie version of the cornpone classic faster than the Duke boys running from Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane.

Ben Jones, a former Georgia congressman who played the wisecracking mechanic on the popular series from 1979-85, said profanity and sexual content in the film make a mockery of the family friendly show.

Because nothing says "family friendly" like a jiggly-breasted tart in hotpants having disturbingly sexualized interactions with her illiterate redneck brothers while driving around breaking laws in their Confederate flag car.

Replies: 3 Confessions

It's been some time since I was a regular consumer of the Dukes of Hazzard (in it's original, non-profane, family-friendly incarnation). But I believe you'll find that Daisy was Bo and Luke's *cousin*. So it's cool.

Altho: Jessica Simpson = *gag*. Give me Katherine Bach any day.

And how family friendly is a show with a character called 'Cooter', anyway?

Phineas @ 07/15/2005 12:30 PM CST

It's also been a while since I've seen them Duke boys, but I don't remember Cooter as being particularly wisecrackin'. Although, to be fair, you don't have to rise to Algonquin-Table-levels of witty repartee to be known as a wise-cracker on "The Dukes of Hazzard". You could probably get by with an occasional "Hoo boy, you done got your car stuck in that ditch!"

What I want to know is, what does Enos think of all this?

jima @ 07/15/2005 01:41 PM CST

Let me get this straight: Ben Jones, a thow-away cast member of one of the most cheesy, classless, poorly written, poorly acted television shows in history, is shocked that the film version is bad? Who-the-where-in-the-wha?!?!?!?!? Huh?!?!? Where are Ponch and Jon when you need them?

I've got an idea "Cooter," how about hating the movie instead because it'll never be a cultural and cinematic gem in company with Beverly Hillbillies, Bewitched, The Flintstones, The Avengers, Dragnet, The Honeymooners, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Wild, Wild West, Starsky & Hutch, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Scooby-Doo, Mr. Magoo, Mission: Impossible, My Favorite Martian, Leave it to Beaver, Charlie's Angels, George of the Jungle, I Spy, Lost in Space, Josie and the Pussycats, The Mod Squad, McHale's Navy, or Leave it to Beaver.

Oh, but I'm sure this one will be different. Keep drinking Uncle Jesse's moonshine. I'm *sure* he never uses that bathtub.

Mike @ 07/18/2005 08:58 AM CST

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