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OK, so, we're at war, we now have a female House Speaker, and it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and there are a number of other interesting things going on in the world. So what takes up valuable space on the Chicago Tribune editorial page today?

Eyebrows.

I shit you not.

And not just the eyebrow itself, but its proper grooming and why (mostly) women absolutely must prune their brow-hairs into a socially acceptable size and shape.

An eyebrow is a subtle frame to the main event. It shouldn't scream, "Hello, I'm an eyebrow. Hear me roar!" It shouldn't threaten like some dark hulking weapon. It shouldn't rustle like a field of wheat waiting for the thresher. But wheat fields and menacing sabers stare out at me from the covers of fashion magazines, catalogs and the streets of the city. One woman looked as if a couple of black caterpillars had decided to winter right there on her forehead.

For fuck's sake.

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