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Dear ironically named Natural Beauties Contest,

If I had a baby and took a snapshot of that baby, could you retouch the photo to make her look like a toothless drag queen? How about a terrifying doll? Or an extra from Fantasy Island, ca. 1979? Could you remove the drool, or better yet, replace her mouth? How about her whole fucking head? Can you just give me a new baby? Because mine is ugly! Ugly, ugly baby! With her unplucked brows and untanned skin and real eyes instead of "doll eyes"! I hate my ugly baby! Help me!

Signed,
yr mom

link found at Salon

Replies: 6 Confessions

I had seen something similar on a pageant site years ago--contestant pictures evidently photoshopped. However, they were not anything like this bad. I didn't realize there was a PhotoShop filter that allows you to suck the soul right out of a picture.

Seriously--how can these people possibly think these are desirable? I mean, EEEUGH.

ChgoRed @ 08/01/2007 05:23 PM CST


I remember trying to have the cute Raggety Ann removed from your favorite dress, because she was cuter than you. And her hair was a brighter red!

Mom C @ 08/01/2007 09:02 PM CST


That can't possibly be true. I was much cuter than Raggedy Ann. I was not even remotely raggedy!

Amy C @ 08/02/2007 07:24 AM CST


Gah. Some people need to be sterilized before they inflict their self-loathing fame-whoring ways on toddlers. What ever happened to just cropping photos and removing red-eye?

shechemist @ 08/02/2007 10:14 AM CST


Isn't it precious?

My favorite is "baby fat removed".

AmyB @ 08/02/2007 05:05 PM CST


Did you see this one:
http://www.naturalbeautiescontest.homestead.com/retouchaa.html

She looks like one of those toilet paper roll dolls!

the other amy @ 08/03/2007 08:33 PM CST


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