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Dear world,

If you want to see a movie in which people named after characters in Beatles songs act out some crazy story about hope and love and whatever, just stay home with your DVD player and revel in the horrifying melted cheese of this.

If you want to see a good movie with Beatles songs in it, just watch "A Hard Day's Night" for the eleventieth time, because it will never, ever get old.

But please, I beg of you, do not go see "Across the Universe." Because don't, is why. Just seeing the commercials makes me embarassed for everyone involved. Going to see this movie will just make you feel dirty and sad, like watching that Britney Spears video over and over. (But much love to the Reader for starting its review with "If a bullet hadn't killed John Lennon, this Beatles-scored musical might have," and ending it with, "But the Rent-like ensemble of yearning young people at the center of the story is a drag; I wanted to turn the sound down on them and say rude things." I'd be quite prepared for that eventuality.)

Anyway, here's this week's totally Taymor-free version of the Random Ten:

Elegenza -- the Spinanes
Where Your Eyes Don't Go -- They Might Be Giants
Three Is a Magic Number -- Bob Dorough
Old Age -- Hole
FM -- the Slits
Add It Up -- the Violent Femmes
Alpha Sun Hat -- the Mountain Goats
It's Oh So Quiet -- Betty Hutton
A Minha Menina -- Os Mutantes
Jailbreak -- the Gossip

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