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Dar Williams wrote one of the saddest songs I know and called it "February," she said, because that month epitomized the sense of despair she was aiming for. February has always had happy connotations for me (my birthday, snow days, half-price Valentine's candy) so I never really got what Dar meant. Until this year.

This year, February can kiss my ass. As Mr. Jimmie noted, this February for us has been 10 pounds of crap in a five-pound bag, and the bag is falling apart and the handles are breaking but we still have to carry it for several more days -- even an extra day this year -- and the world just keeps shoveling crap into our fucked-up February crapsack.

The bright spot of this clusterfuck of a month was our recent trip to Atlanta -- we spent a couple of days hanging out with our lovely friends, seeing some theatrical entertainments, eating lots of delicious (seriously -- root beer sorbet! is that not genius?) foods, and catching up on sleep.

But our brief respite was dogged by unease, as evidenced in the frequent calls to family to see how Jim's mom was doing in the hospital. And as soon as we got home, I came down with the flu, which kept me shivering and exhausted all last week and prevented me from going to Peoria with Jim to visit his mom. So I spent a sad-bastard weekend at home alone, sleeping on the couch all day and gobbling Sudafed and washing my hands obsessively to avoid contaminating every surface in the house -- and I still woke up with pink-eye yesterday. Damn it all to hell.

So please just go, February.

March has got to be better, right? Right?

Replies: 8 Confessions

Sorry your Feb was so bad. Mine kind of was too. I'll distract the suck away from you tomorrow, going into the hospital for surgery. I'm pretty sure the rest of February (all 3 days of it) will be a blur of pain, nausea and narcotics. Maybe that'll shift the suck balance enough that you'll have a good leap day.

B @ 02/26/2008 08:13 AM CST

February has been crappy for me also. Besides Lynn, Jim's Mom, my good friend Liz, my cousin's daugher, Stephanie, found out that they had cancer, one incurable, another friend was told her father was "full of cancer."Some ofthe people on my prayer list, I never met, and although I add occasionally, I don't remove names that often. For the people out there that pray and believe in the power of prayer, I ask you to join me in praying for Lynn. Let's hope for a brighter March!

Mom C @ 02/26/2008 05:54 PM CST

Wow, it must be bad -- my mom said "crappy."

Amy C @ 02/26/2008 06:23 PM CST

Stopped in to see how RubberNun was doing. Yeah, this month was... difficult.

Wishing you well.

Bake some brownies, for all of us.

Hey, my mom still wears and enjoys the neckalce you made a few years ago, with the jade. :-)

Kurt in Seattle @ 02/27/2008 01:03 AM CST

yes, I agree that February blows big time, bring on March!!!

the other amy @ 02/28/2008 08:08 AM CST

Trying for words, but nothing seems to fit. Take care of each other, too.

JT Elder @ 03/01/2008 09:52 PM CST

Just wanted to let you know... my March so far is WAY BETTER than my February was. New job, clean bill of health, and pretty flowers to look at. I hope your March is going well too.

B @ 03/04/2008 07:43 PM CST

Yay! Perhaps things will be looking up for everyone I know who had a shitty February (and there are many of them).

Amy C @ 03/04/2008 08:35 PM CST

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